butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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