Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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