Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
