Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
