you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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