Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
