Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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