Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
