I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
