spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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