i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
how does that bad decision feel?
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