put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She made me pour olive oil on her.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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