i jhust puked up my retainher.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
