i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
