My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
