I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
