So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
