no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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