do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
