i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
