i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
