Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
