I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
