Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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