Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
