i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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