just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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