wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
