stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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