Your tits are I can't wait for
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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