how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it was like eating out sand paper
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
