brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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