Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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