Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
