I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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