If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
