I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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