I need help removing her.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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