are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
