Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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