giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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