Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's just like the Real World with babies
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
