That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
please come you make the beer taste better
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
