My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
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i want to swaddle you in tequila
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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