at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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