Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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