its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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