I wanna bring you to show and tell
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Ladies don't puke and tell
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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