addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
