True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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